In the footsteps of the Mothers of the Believers, Hafsah & Sawdah رضي الله عنهن

My Modest Mother

My heart finds peace and tranquility,
When I observe your integrity,
To know that you left me with much wealth,
To know that you gave me prosperity,
Not possessions or material riches,
But an example of honesty,
Sincere modesty and humility,
You led a life of simplicity,
Dedication and loyalty,
On which is my dependability,
To use your life as an example,
Upon which to base my own days,
To live like you did, with sincerity,
And have my soul gain prosperity.

The Miraculous Marriages of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم

Part Two

"The finest of the believers conduct themselves with honorable bearing.
And the finest of the finest are those who treat their mates with affection."
- Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم
[as reported by Abu Hurairah]

Continued...

• Shaykh Abu Yusuf Riyadh ul Haq stated that the wives of Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم showed him the same love, devotion, affection and respect. They displayed the same reverence if not more then the companions did outside the home, and that is unique. Shaykh explained how every woman loves her husband (or should do) but it is very difficult for a husband to win or gain the respect of his wife. She may love him, which is a natural bond after having lived together for so many years, but it is difficult for a husband to win and gain the respect of his wife. With the Holy Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم, not only did he win their respect, but he had their respect and utmost reverence and this was unique. Respect here refers to the respect of the mind and heart. The reverence which the wives of the Holy Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم showed him was far above the normal respect.

• Shaykh mentioned how the wives would never address the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم by his name, nor by his kunya (title). Despite that unique relationship between the wife and husband that grants the wife the right to be informal, the wives of Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم, even then, would begin their sentences by saying ‘May my father and mother be sacrificed for you O Messenger of Allah’ and then they would say what ever they wanted to. That is reverence.

• Shaykh said there were incidents where the wives behaved like wives and this did hurt and inconvenience the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم but overall the wives were unique. Allah warned them in the Qur’an that if you wish to remain with Rasulallah صلى الله عليه وسلم then you have to adopt a certain standard.
  

• Shaykh explained how men expect their wives to be saints. Most men would like to have a wife who follows in the footsteps of the wives of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم but they do not look at their own behaviour. Sometimes, women want their husband to follow the sunnah but they do not wish to adopt the example of the mothers of the believers. If we want our household to improve, to be more religious, and modeled on the sunnah so that the father follows in the footsteps of Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم and the noble companions and the mother follows in the footsteps of the female companions and the mothers of the ummah; mothers of the believers; if we want such a family then we all have to play our part and role and we all have to contribute in terms of our character.
  

Shaykh Abu Yusuf then went on describe the unique and amazing points on the miraculous nature of the marriages of the Messenger of Allah.

• When the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was in Makkah he had many enemies - one of the most bitter and greatest of those was Abu Sufyan – the uncrowned king of Makkah who was wealthy and intelligent. He would lead the trade caravans and hold gatherings to plot against the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. He led the forces in battles; Uhud, Badr, and the Battle of the Trench. He was a great leader. When the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسل did hijrah to Medina the greatest enemy was the chief of a Jewish tribe. The whole tribe was banished from Medinah and the chief took up residence in Khaybar, where he continued to instigate trouble in Medina. And he was instrumental in inciting the Quraish to fight in the battle of Uhud, and the Battle of the Trench. The daughters of both of these greatest enemies of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم came into his noble home as his wives. And they lived with him, they loved him and sacrificed everything for him, and they lived as the mothers of the believers and the noble wives all the way until the end of their lives. Shaykh commented that if that is not a miracle in itself then what is?

• When Abu Sufyan learnt that his daughter had married the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم, despite being an enemy of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he commented by saying that she had married a noble and worthy husband.
  

• In the 7th year of hijrah, after the treaty of Hudaibiya the truce was violated by some of the allies of the Quraish, which led to uncertainty among the Quraish as to what the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم would do now that the treaty had been broken. Abu Sufyan traveled to Medinah to ratify the treaty. He tried to speak to Abu Bakr and Umar and went to see the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم, and on that occasion he decided to visit his daughter also (who he had not seen for many years). He entered the home of Ume Habiba رضى الله عنها and he was about to take a seat on a rug/bedding when Um-e-Habiba رضى الله عنها pulled the bedding from beneath him. He said to her ‘O my daughter, I do not understand, did you pull the bedding from beneath me because I am too good for the bedding or the bedding is too good for me’. So she said ‘O father, this is the bedding of the Holy Messenger and you are an impure idolater/pagan, I will never allow you sit on the noble bedding of Rasulallah, the bedding is too good for you.’ This was the love, the devotion and dedication that the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم inspired in his wives.

• Despite being the most powerful person the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم did not exercise power for himself, he did not acquire or amass wealth in any way, he lived a simple life and that is what he expected of all of those who lived with him and who were close to him including the wives.
  

• Aisha رضى الله عنها says for two months the fire in the hearth in the home of Rasullah صلى الله عليه وسلم would not be lit as there was no solid food to cook. They would survive on dates and water and occasionally if someone brought a gift of milk they would enjoy some milk. And that is not one wife but all the wives of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم.
  

• They led lives of sacrifice, privation, hunger, suffering, and simplicity. They lacked so much; their homes were bare and simple. For months on end they would not have any solid food to cook let alone eat. A bowl of milk was a luxury which someone might give to them as a gift.
  

• What made the wives of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم live with him in that manner? What inspired such love, dedication and sacrifice in someone like Ume Habiba رضى الله عنها who grew up in the richest home in Makkah, and who was the daughter of one of the richest men in Makkah? This is not mere love between a husband and wife; it is the devotion of a follower to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم. They saw him not as a husband but as the true Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم and that is a miracle.
  

• It was the same with Safiya رضى الله عنها; although her own father was executed, she did not feel any reservation in becoming the wife of Rasullallah صلى الله عليه وسلم and she was not compelled or forced to. When the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم married her there was a mark on her eye and he asked her what had happened. She told him that she was married before and one day she saw a dream, in which she saw the moon fall into her lap. When she related that dream to her then husband he slapped her so hard that she had the lasting mark of that injury on her eye. And her husband interpreted her dream and said ‘you dream of marrying the king of Medina’. So when the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم proposed she said ‘if I wanted to marry you before Islam then why not in Islam’.
  

• The two daughters of the two greatest enemies of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم married him voluntarily and showed love and dedication. They were devoted and dedicated, inspired and unwavering in their faith and conviction that this is the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم. These marriages are a miracle in themselves.

• What did Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم offer them? He could not offer them any palaces, riches, power, wealth or prestige. Over the years the simplicity of their lives took its toll on them. On one occasion the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم secluded himself for a month and contemplated divorcing them – one reason amongst others was that the wives began to put pressure on the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم demanding an increase in their maintenance money. Things had progressed and improved and wealth was pouring into Medina. Not asking for luxury, or demanding wealth and riches but they merely wanted to eat to their fill, drink to quench their thirst, clothe themselves adequately and satisfactorily, they asked for no more. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم strongly disapproved of this. Allah سبحانه وتعالى revealed the verses of ultimatum in Surah tul Ahzab for the wives to choose between wealth and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. All of the wives without hesitation choose Allah سبحانه وتعالى and his Rasul.
  

• The wives chose Allah سبحانه وتعالى, His Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم and the Hereafter over wealth, riches, and comfort and they continued to suffer hunger and face hardships. They renounced any claim to the dunya, and continued to live a life of abstention, privation, hardship, hunger; poverty and they chose to remain with the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.
  

• The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم did not and could not offer them riches in the world, he offered them nothing but this life of poverty, sacrifice, tears, turmoil, trouble, trials, tribulations and they chose that – isn’t that a miracle in itself? The wives treated him, not out of just the love of a wife for her husband but it was the reverence of a follower towards her leader, prophet, messenger and the true nabi of Allah سبحانه وتعالى. Such lives are a miracle in themselves.

• In all these years the wives of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم did not detect let alone report or complain of a single discrepancy, of a single instance of contradiction, of a single doubt in the character and integrity of the noble messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم. No normal man can achieve that, no normal man can inspire such confidence, such love, affection, devotion, dedication, such faith, and no man can inspire his wife not just one wife but so many wives, no man can do all of that, only a true messenger of Allah can achieve that.
  

• Just this domestic life of Rasullah صلى الله عليه وسلم; one of such privations and sacrifice - this in itself, the manner of his marriages are a miracle, all of this is a miracle and we should not reduce the noble marriages of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم to mere political alliances born out of political expediency, nor should we regard them as being simple tribal alliances.
  

• The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم married because Allah سبحانه وتعالى allowed him to marry, he married for noble reasons, he married for the normal reasons a man would marry a woman yet despite the normality of the marriage, the true nature of these marriages was miraculous. The lives of the wives of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم with him were miraculous and all of these factors testify and point to the truthfulness and the integrity of the noble messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم and that in itself is a miracle.

The Miraculous Marriages of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم

Indeed, I see God's miracles everywhere, I cannot but love, worship and obey Him.

(Quote from Marwa El-Naggar, An Egyptian Woman in her 20s.
From 'The no-nonsense guide to Islam’)

Often we are fascinated with miracles; the Shahadah in a tomato or the name of Allah سبحانه وتعالى in an aborigine, but we overlook those miracles which are truly unique and remarkable. The life of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم was a miracle in itself which proves beyond doubt that he صلى الله عليه وسلم was indeed the prophet and messenger of Allah سبحانه وتعالى In this talk Shaykh Abu Yusuf Riyadh ul Haq explained how the marriages of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم were miraculous in nature and I would highly recommend readers to obtain a copy of this talk from Al Kawthar Academy. Shaykh Abu Yusuf Riyardh ul Haq explores the miraculous nature of the Prophet Muhammad’s صلى الله عليه وسلم marriages in a notable and outstanding manner and illustrates how each marriage was significant in its own way.

Here I give a short insight into some of the noteworthy things Shaykh mentioned. I will present the talk in two parts: part one will be ‘The Miraculous Marriages of Rasullah صلى الله عليه وسلم’ – How Rasullah صلى الله عليه وسلم conducted himself within and outside the home.

Shaykh stated how it is disrespectful and incorrect to suggest that the Prophet’s صلى الله عليه وسلم marriages were for political reasons (e.g. cement political alliances with the tribes, to help widows or to assist those who were in difficulty). Shaykh said we should consider it very insulting that the noble and holy marriages of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم should be reduced to political expediency. Shaykh explained that if we were to say a person’s marriage today was only to save face, to establish a stronger relationship between his family and the girl’s family – that the entire marriage is based on a family/tribal alliance then this would be extremely insulting to the person and the families. Therefore, it is incorrect and disrespectful to the Holy Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم to suggest that his noble and holy marriages should be reduced to political expediency.

Shaykh Abu Yusuf Riyardh ul Haq stated that the marriages of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم were Miraculous in many ways and below are some of the significant points Shaykh made in this speech:

• Shaykh explained how a normal individual; a man can act very pious outside his home, not just religiously observant people but generally all people. And people accept that no one knows the husband as well as his wife does. A man can put on a good show at work, for acquaintances, in social settings, in front of his colleagues, and not be themselves in a professional work environment. The work colleagues even after many years may never come to know the true person beneath the mask like the family and wife does. It is easy to be polite, humble and pleasant in a normal social setting, business meeting, when greeting someone or walking past someone for a few minutes or hours. It is at home, in front of the family, especially in front of the wife where a person can not keep up the act. A persons every posture, every movement, every moment is read, every action captured, observed and analysised. A person cannot conceal their true self in front of their wife.

• Talking about religious people also, Shaykh stated that a man can act very pious and holy and sanctimonious in the public. A person may come to the masjid and perform prayers, listen to a speech, greet and exchange greetings and depart the masjid. Ones true nature is always concealed in such a setting. A person can keep up an act outside but if a wife was to explain to someone else how the husband is at home people would think they are talking about two completely different personalities. Shaykh stated that this shows we are able to keep a distinct personality for the outside and we can not be anything but our true selves at home.

• Shaykh mentioned how if we apply the above understanding to the Holy Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم then this is a miracle itself. Shaykh said outside the home the Holy Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was observed, heard, watched, analysed, and waited upon by hundreds of thousands of people. The companions observed him so closely that he could not do anything, e.g. he could not smile, turn his head etc without being fully observed by those around him. They watched everything, memorized it and conveyed it to others. He was under the watchful eye of the public from the moment he left his home, and that is how we know so much about his appearance, and the sunnah.
  

• Shaykh then stated that when the Holy Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم would go home he was not a different person. Throughout his life in Medinah the noble wives informed the companions of how the Messenger of Allah behaved at home. What he did at home conformed to what he did outside. He was never a different person. He was consistent, in his conduct, behaviour, mannerisms, walk, taste, likes, and dislikes. He behaved at home with his wives the same as he behaved outside.

• Shaykh pointed out that no human being can manage that unless he is a Prophet of Allah. If there was any doubt about the character of the Holy Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم the first to detect and expose it would have been one single wife and yet at one time nine wives together collectively did not cast a single word that would cast any doubt on the trueness and integrity on the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم. That is a true miracle. Even the most pious men and greatest scholars in the world, their wives always view them in a different light.
  

Coming soon….. Part Two: ‘The Miraculous Marriages of Rasullah صلى الله عليه وسلم’ – How the wives conducted themselves with Rasullah صلى الله عليه وسلم

The Learned Lady and Mother of the Ummah - 'Aishah رضى الله عنها

The Lives of the Modest Wives

Khadijah (RA) Poem

Khadijah رضى الله عنها,

I do yearn to be like you,

In words and actions

And character too.

Pure of heart,

You gave us the perfect start,

Truthful in words,

Honest in dealings.

With piety,

You alleviated anxiety,

Giving peace, solace,

And tranquility.

My mother

You are the perfect role model,

A woman of strength,

Chaste and humble,

My support and comfort.